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So... last i posted was about me living in an apartment with 3 other girls. It was for preparations of the Board Exams. It's been over a year now. I haven't blogged about what happened after that time. Well... WE PASSED!!! xD All four of us! :D I know it's been over a year, but... well, I just wanted to update this blog... even if no one else is reading it :P

And... well, just as a side note, we lived fine under one roof :P and after moving back to our own houses, the four of us missed living together xD we still see each other during occasions and get-togethers :)

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I've been reading my past LJ entries and I'm really amused LOL

I can't believe I don't remember writing some of them XD especially the one titled "Giving Up" haha i don't even remember what that was about XD just proves that I have really bad memory i guess :P


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wow

hmm i don't know how to start this. it's been so long since i last wrote a journal. and i don't really have anything interesting to say... well i have a new phone (yay!) it's a samsung corby pro! Hehehe and it's really cool :) i an so loving it! :)

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Problem

These days, i've been having this problem.... i'm not sure when it started.... heck, i don't even know when... or if i've actually been like this from the very beginning.... but recently, i've noticed that i lack the "drive". i mean, i'm always so bored... and i don't feel the pressure. when we have plates, i can't seem to get myself in condition... i always do it the last minute.... well, i always do my projects at the last minute, but this time, i do them at the VERY last minute.... and even if i'm working under a very short time pressure, i'm not pressured at all... because of this, i'm having the feeling that i might not make it to the next semester.... i mean, i wanna make it through this semester and then get to the next semester, i don't wanna fail you know, but i just feel that with the ways things are going now, i'm having my doubts.... not only because i might fail but also, because i'm really starting to feel that i don't like what i'm doing.... not that i don't like it... it's just that, i think i like something else waaaay better... and it's only now that i'm beginning to realize somewhat, that architecture is really really difficult... there are a lot of requirements and stuff before i can even take the board exams, and even before that board examination, we have a thesis... and heck if i say that that would be easy... it's so not! i think the thesis in architecture is one of the most difficult to pass... and i haven't decided on who i want to be my partner yet... i don't know if i can work productively with that person, whoever he/she might be, because like i said, i lack the drive... and i don't wanna pull them down.... argh why is this happening to me?!!!

Giving Up ...



i think this has been going on for quite a while now.... i don't think i can continue on expecting or hoping... all hope's abandoned now... so tired of it...

how can people be so sweet and considerate and affectionate at one point, and be insensitive at another?

*sigh* i guess that's normal, no...? maybe i better focus my hopes on other things...

this thing has really been chewing at my mind... and i'm somehow irritated at my self for remembering it all the time...

there have been times when all i think about is that... and i was so happy then... but now...

why did it come to this...?

this is so tiring... it's all i think about... it wears me out...

i've been trying to forget... and at one point, i thought i have forgotten...

but then, there come moments when that creeps into my mind, and i remember it again... i think of it again...

it burns me again.... it pains me again...

i'm starting to believe that this is my fault....

for being so weak.... so weak against that....

i've always thought that i might never have these feelings... and if i did, i would never let it eat me up....

but why like this now...? it pains me...

and it grieves me that this thing pains me...

i have expected that this thing would happen...

i expected that i can get over it easily.... but...

the opposite is happening now....

i never expected that i will mask in this feeling...

lose in it....

drown in it....

be absorbed by it....

it aches....

how bitter....

how mortifying...

this pain...

Writer's Block: Bump In The Night

What are you afraid of?

whaaaaaaat....? i was so busy doing school stuff... i don't even have the time to sleep even for 3 hours... what do you want huh...

nothing special

hehehe nothing really... i realized i haven't posted for a long time, so i decided to post something XD nothing special as the subject says hehehe just want to post :P

i'm supposed to do a perspective of the room we're designing, and i actually planned to do it this morning... but it's night now and i haven't done a single line! hahahaha XD i was so into reading that i really lost interest in doing the perspective :P

anyway.... i think i better start drawing now =_=

Eight

*phew* finAlly submitted our major plate! what a relief! although i don't think our group did that well...*sigh* anyway, i still think our work is nice! well, that's one thorn off my throat...one down, six to go... *dies* at least the submission for one of the plates was extended till monday! yay^^ the bad news is, we have three final exams tomorrow! and two plates to passT.T and i haven't slept yet! agh! help me!!!! this is torture!!!!!!

anyway...tomorrow is our finals in statics, and i'm really nervous...i wish we would all pass, and i also wish that i'll pass in all my subjects, and that i will pass in the GWA! please please please!!!! i wish i would pass....i'm in quite a difficult situation in my statics...T.T i really wish my prof will pass me in his subject!!!!!!!

7th entry

ok...it's been quite long....anyway, i'm pretty busy...so much work to do!! argh! these professors don't know how to give us some break! it's always work work work!!! anyway, i just posted here coz it's been kinda long ago! lol^^

Sixth Entry

well...the last design project is over, and we got an 89 in tha final phase...it wasn't a low grade considering the grades of my other classmates...i was just wondering what "her" reaction was when she saw our grade...i don't really know coz we didn't talk when the plate was returned to us...and i don't wanna talk to her..she's such a bitch! that creature is so annoying!! and i swear i would never forgive her!!!

anyway...our last plate has already started, and i really like my groupmates now!^^ i swear, in the three major plates that was given to us, the first two partners i have were not my choice...and i don't really want to be partnered with either of them, coz we're not that close and there's this issue...i won't go there--for now...anyway, my partners now were chosen by me^^ so i really like them!^^ and it's really fun working with them^^ they do not blame a person for making a mistake^^ thanks goodness!^^ well, we already did the first phase, submitted it, and got it back...guess what our grade is...it's 96!! yay!!^^ we got the second to the highest grade!!^^ yay!!!^^

that's over for now...but we're still gonna do the last phase...i really wish it would turn out wonderful!!^^ but for now...i gotta do my research for my report on tuesday...argh!! i don't wanna report yet!!! aside from that, i have the structural and plumbing design to do!!!